Friday, August 13, 2010

36 Hours of Bizarre

I just got off the phone with my sister who said I had to blog.  Because I cannot show you pictures of the events of the previous 36 hours (they would be too graphic and violent), I'll show you a picture of my sister - - my blog muse for today.



The past 36 hours have been bizarre.  Wednesday night, we got notice that our water was going to be turned off from 11 am to 8 pm on Thursday.  It said to stock pile water in the fridge for drinking and cooking and to fill the tub with water for "sanitary needs."  I had no idea what that meant.

Thursday morning arrived and I was ready.  I filled my tub, I filled a bucket in the sink with soapy water, and there were several containers of water in the fridge.  At 9:30 am, there was a knock at the door.  Mysterious.  It was a water lady - or a St. Paul Regional Water Services worker.  She explained that the water in the tub was to flush the toilet.  I eyed her suspiciously.  She explained that you just have to dump a bucket of water in the toilet and it'll flush by herself.  I nodded, while thinking to myself, "Whatever.  There will just be no pooping for 9 hours.  No problem."

At 11 am, Maguire went to try the sink in the kitchen and Gan went to try the toilet.  They were excited for the water shut off.  It was like serious late summer excitement, you know the kind that comes when you're starting to get bored out of your mind and you've been hot and sticky for three months.  We still had water.  They tried about every ten minutes until 12:30 when we had to take Maguire to Big Cats Camp at the Como Zoo.  We still had water.

At 1:30 pm, the boys and I returned from our adventure, promptly checked our water supply, and, lo and behold, it was turned off!!  Let the party begin!!!  Whoo-hooo!!!

At 2:15, Gannon pooped.  I figured that the Lord hates a coward, so I armed myself with the bucket full of water.  I lifted the lid, and I poured a little in.  Well, let me tell you, a little doesn't do it.  I poured a little more, starting to feel a little nervous about the fact that Gan's excrement was, slowly but surely, getting closer and closer to my kneecaps.  I told myself, "Be brave! Be bold!" like I tell the kids when they're nervous about something.  I mustered all my courage and dumped the whole bucket in there.  What do you know!?!  THE TOILET FLUSHED!!  Of course, it didn't flush until Gan's poop was floating way too close to the top of the toilet seat for my liking, but it flushed nonetheless.  A success.

At 2:30, the water was turned back on.  Huh.

At 4:30, we carried out our original "no water" plan and went to the local pool.  The big pool was closed for lap swim, so we planned on hanging out in the kiddie pool with all the slides and basketball hoops and the like.  The best laid plans....   Some kiddo threw up in the kiddie pool and we had to get out for 25 minutes for the cleaning.  "No big deal!" I said.  We'll just proceed with the plan and have hot dogs for dinner a little early.

At 5:05, we get in line to get our hot dogs.  I order, and I then listen patiently while the concession lady tells me that they're out of hot dogs, pizza, and everything else resembling a meal, except for two cheese-filled brats.  I said, "I'll take 'em!!"  The kids were starving at this point so I handed over the morsels.  Magoo and Gan took one bite, said they were gross, and proceeded to eat a bag of potato chips.

At 5:20, the kiddie pool opened up again, and Maguire and Gan headed back in.  I turned to look at Roj, only to find that he had bitten the end off a cheese brat, eaten it, and was licking the cheese that was dripping down the side.  It was a cheese brat popsicle.  Yummy.

Everything went pretty normally last night, and then the bizarre started again today at 1:00.  We dropped Maguire off for her last day of Big Cats Camp and the counselor told us that they were feeding a zebra to the tigers today.  Maguire explained that they had made a cardboard zebra all week.  They were stuffing it with meat and throwing it into the tigers lair.  She begged us to stay and watch the carnage.

So we hiked into the zoo, stood at attention while the sacrificial zebra was carried into the tiger's lair.  Then we waited, breathlessly, with all the Big Cats campers....

The tiger approached.  We held our collective breath.

The tiger knocked the head off the zebra, pushed it over and stole the meat out of the cardboard butt.

There's just so many things in this blog that I have the feeling I will never, ever say again.

Here's a little something to wipe the disturbing images from your mind.



It's been a strange, strange 36 hours.

Love,

Momma T.

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I'm a 36-year-old mother of three (one girl and two boys), lover of fashion, chocolate, and red wine, ex-lawyer about to become a lawyer again to fund the fashion, chocolate and red wine habit. I revere the sisterhood of moms.