I wasn't sure how to tell you this to your face. I can't bear to see the crestfallen look or the sadness in your eyes. So, I've decided to write to you here, on your blog, so you can share your pain with your four followers.
Mom, brace yourself, YOU ARE BORING. There, I said it. It's been over a week since the big kids started school, and I miss them every second they are gone, except, of course, when I'm napping.
They are young; you are old. They are fast; you are slow. They are funny; you are not all that funny really. They let me throw their toys; you don't let me throw your kitchen utensils. See what I'm saying here?
In the week they've been gone, I've had to resort to desperate measures to entertain myself.
The other day when you went to the bathroom and I took off and you came out and were calling my name and you couldn't find me and you started to freak out a little but I still ignored you, I was in my room, teaching myself to read. It really wasn't that big of a deal once I figured out which end of the book was up.
Remember when you found me and I forgot that I was trying to hide from you? I was so happy to see you, until I realized that I was still missing the big kids.
Then, this week, I taught myself to use dining utensils, so I can eat like less of an animal. Again, you were in the bathroom, and I pushed the kitchen stool over to the utensil drawer, opened it, and took out a fork. I'm resourceful.
So, anyway Mom, we're only on week two of this school year, so you're going to have to ratchet it up a notch. I have faith in you.
Love,
Ronan
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